guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
