Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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