I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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