would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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