I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want a musical about memes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i out mim tonsoeep
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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