So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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