yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
