I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize