Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
