the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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