TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
