girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
