covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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