i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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