I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
