dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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