Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
