I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
