wat bout pragnant strippers??
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
