She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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