why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize