Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
