2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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