I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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