My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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