I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Green mimosas i think yes
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize