pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
