i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
