just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
