he puts the penis in happiness.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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