Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
