He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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