Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
