does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Help. Why am I so naked?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
