You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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