Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
