it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
