Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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