The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
