I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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