No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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