how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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