Sponge bath it is.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
