they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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