HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
