I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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