yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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