Porn is love you can see.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
