My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize