My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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