Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
