Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
