I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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