i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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