I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
