it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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