I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize