Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
