I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
