Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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