how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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