cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
