do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
