I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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