how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hello my rib-scented angel!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
